Parenting means being there for the moments that matter—school plays, sports events, field trips. Those are the experiences that build memories and strengthen bonds with your kids. They’re how you let them know, “I’ll always show up for you.”
But sometimes, the past doesn’t let you show up the way you want to.
I learned that the hard way when I tried to sign up as a chaperone for my son’s school field trip. I filled out the forms, agreed to the background check, and thought I’d be good to go. But instead, I got a rejection.
Because of my felony record, I wasn’t allowed to go.
Explaining It to My Son
I’ve always been honest with my kids. It’s important to me that they know the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
So, I sat my son down and told him, “A long time ago, I made mistakes that got me into trouble. I went to prison for those mistakes, and even though I’ve worked hard to make up for them, sometimes they still follow me around.”
He looked at me with this puzzled expression, the kind kids get when they’re trying to make sense of something that doesn’t feel fair. “So, you can’t come on the trip because of that?” he asked.
That question hit me right in the heart. He wasn’t mad—he just didn’t understand why his dad couldn’t be there like the other parents.
The Pain of Being Left Out
There’s nothing easy about knowing your past is still holding you back, especially when it’s affecting your kids. I’ve put in the work. I’ve built a stable life. But rules like this remind me of who I used to be, not who I’ve become.
It’s tough watching other parents go on trips with their kids while I have to stay behind. It’s like the system is saying, “We see you’ve changed, but not enough.” And
while I can handle that judgment for myself, when it spills over onto my son? That’s a whole different level of frustration and pain.
Showing Up in Other Ways
Even though I couldn’t be on the field trip, I made sure my son knew I was there for him in every other way. When he got home, I asked him about everything—what he saw, what he learned, and what he enjoyed most.
I might not have been able to sit on the bus or help out on the trip, but that doesn’t mean I’m missing out on being his dad.
Still, it stings. I’ve done everything to rebuild my life, but the shadow of my past keeps showing up in places it doesn’t belong—like my son’s childhood memories.
This Is Bigger Than Me
This isn’t just my story. It’s the story of every parent who’s worked hard to turn their life around but is still judged by the mistakes they’ve already paid for. Why should our kids miss out because of something that happened before they were even born?
I’m teaching my son about the world—about the ways it’s fair and unfair. He knows I love him, and he knows I’ll do everything I can to be there for him. But sometimes, it feels like no matter how much I’ve changed, it’s never enough for the system.
The Bottom Line
I can’t change the school’s rules right now. But what I can do is show my son every single day that I’m here for him. I tell him I love him, I cheer him on, and I remind him that no matter what, he’s got me in his corner.
To all the parents out there with a past, I want to say this: Keep showing up. We might not get to go on the field trips, but we’ll make sure our kids know we’re riding for them every day.
“My hustle is writing—I am a writer!
If this post resonated with you, check out my eBook, Miracle at Cana, on Amazon. It’s another piece of my journey, and I hope it inspires you to keep pushin’ forward. Click here to grab your copy: Miracle at Cana.